I realised not caring is just another way of running away from feelings.
In fact, it is not really running away but keeping and burying the feelings deeper and deeper down until we can't see it.
I believe one day those feelings will resurface and they will haunt me twice or three times they are harming me now.
But I am too not caring that I don't even care about myself anymore.

Addiction is a sin.
And we can't fight it.